1 MINUTE SUMMARY
Lots and lots of creepy things happen, including dead men who float and faces that bleed, but nothing is more creepy than Nina's shipper smile (although Cameron's mustache gets a close second).
THE 5 MINUTE VERSION
Walter and Hurley get high and reminisce about the good old days, aka the 1970s. Hurley fails to mention that for him, the 70's meant being shot at by deranged scientists under the employ of the Dharma Initiative. Walter bedded Yoko. Who had the worst 70's experience?
Walter than pops in on Nina to discuss how to save the universe, but Nina is distracted by the news about Peter and Olivia, and spends the rest of the conversation squeeing in her brain. (Also, it's fairly odd that she hasn't told anyone else about Sam Weiss's prophecy. I guess she just needs that private squee.)
Then we get A-plot, A-plot, A-plot. Usual stuff, until the dead man starts floating. Looks like Walter and Hurley aren't the only ones who got high (get it? get it?)
Peter performs his annual pretense of being a scientist, until Olivia calls and seduces him with 'street fair.' I think we're all thankful we don't have to see them dancing at a street fair when Broyles cockblocks them (hippie-blocks them?).
We are then tortured with about five minutes of exposition, including an all too detailed sum of the properties of "osmium". And I stop listening for a while, and am entertained by Olivia's giggles at the floating body.
Oh, look, it's Alan Ruck with a mustache! (Apparently Cameron from Ferris Bueller grows up into Thomas Friedman). Again, I lose interest. Sorry guys, this is the first time the A-plot has nothing to do with the continuing storyline, and thusly I have no interest in it.
Astrid and Walter do that annoying thing that makes anyone not want to tell a single person about new relationships: basically it involves creepy and knowing smiles.
Then Friedman!Cameron starts expositing, which is only fun because his audience literally dies of boredom.
The floating man falls to the ground, and Walter gets off one of his best Tom-Bakerisms yet.
Ok, I'm sorry guys, while I am fully in support of all the angst and the character drama, I actually find the whole Olivia and Peter actually being together really squicky. Olivia just seems weird, we've seen her in love before (anyone remember John Scott?), and it wasn't so...cutesy. Blech.
Sorry, I missed a scene or two, and now we move to Fried!Cam recruiting at a Special Olympics event.
Then more lab!stuff, and Peter and Olivia play hooky again! Seriously guys, this is why office relationships are bad! And then Nina, with the creepist shipper smile yet. What has happened? Why has this 'ship turned everyone into Stepford Wives?
The next scene reminds us, yet again, that Walter is the best character on this show; the hijinks of the older generation are what makes this show tick. They are the Olympic Gods, everyone else is merely a plaything.
Then lots of A-Plot stuff happens, and yes it's all very moving, but I still don't care.
Eventually, Peter confesses to Olivia about his shapeshifter side job. Before Olivia even has a chance to get angsty, something happens that nobody could expect in this farce of people behaving out of character. Basically, while everyone else turns into a Stepford Wife, Olivia turns into...wait for it...LEONARD NIMOY!!! It's uncanny, and VERY, VERY DISTURBING. I DO NOT KNOW IF I CAN SIT THROUGH A WHOLE EPISODE OF THIS NEXT WEEK!!!
BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS
I think I know part of what's making me so squicky about Olivia/Peter. We know that Peter is still thinking of FauxLivia, that on many levels he does think she's better than OurLivia. And so we have this weird Hitchcock Vertigo thing going on, where he only wants her because he can pretend that she's the doppelganger that he actually fell in love with. I know he didn't intend to fall for FauxLivia, he did originally want OurLivia, but I'm not convinced that's still the case. He's just biding his time now, knowing (or at least believing) that this is his best option.