Civilization in Retrograde: Google Scribe

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I don't generally buy in to the frequently posited theories about how the Internet is making us more stupid, but this new Google feature definitely aspires to reduce our thinking.

I logged into blogger as usual (by the way, the blogger re-design is the most horrendous thing I've ever seen. It may be prettier now, but it's totally useless, especially when you're working on the coding of the xml template.) There was this exciting bit of news:

"Introducing Google Scribe in Blogger."

Hello Bloggers! Do you ever find yourself writing slowly, staring at a blinking cursor or looking for words to express yourself? Today we are happy to announce the availability of the text suggestions and autocomplete feature of Google Scribe, which is graduating from Google Labs and can now be found in Blogger in Draft.

Google Scribe helps you write more efficiently by suggesting common words and phrases as you type. Google Scribe supports Arabic, Dutch, English, French, German, Hungarian, Italian, Polish, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish and Swedish. The language is automatically detected using the text in the post.

So, for you, dear Reader, I reached out to test the product, and I simply do not understand it's existence. As my previous post was about River Song, I started with that, and ended up with this, based on following the autocomplete suggestions and inserting random punctuation:

River Song is the best way to get the best of the best in the world. When the user clicks River and the surrounding area and the second is the number of the first and second portions of the first and second, the third quarter of the year and the year of the study was to determine the effect of the drug.

Yes, the phrases and words suggested are vaguely human, but only in the sense that Mad-Libs are human.

I fundamentally disapprove of the notion that Google will write your post for you (if you don't like writing, why the hell are you blogging?) but this new trick beggars belief. Of all the useful things Google could do to improve Blogger (better photo placement controls, page templates, etc), they did this?

I believe 30 Rock provides the most logical explanation:

 

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3 Responses to “ Civilization in Retrograde: Google Scribe ”

  1. I'm with you on this one. Blogger should at least do something about making the layout and photo placements more fun and flexible, instead of incorporating this lame app. I will not use autosuggestions to compose a blog post that would completely disrupt my writing mojo. No serious blogger would do this to him/herself unless the space in between those ears are indeed empty space.

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  2. Lol I like your last sentence. So true.

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  3. I love the bit you did with just google suggestions. Hilarious. Hopefully, that proves that a thought out phrase is much more worthwhile than an automated one. When AI starts writing on its own, more power to it, but that would be its writing, not the user's.

    If you have to use a machine to write, don't. No one would want to read it, anyway.

    -- Peter

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