The Oncoming Hope

While the internet is a great resource for all things fancy, sometimes it fails to provide easy, simple recipes for basic needs like tomato sauce. There are plenty of recipes for varieties of tomato sauce that take about 2 hours to make and like a billion steps, but not a simple, versatile one that's good for pasta, pizza, baked eggs, or anything else that may require tomato sauce.

So, just for you, I've got a 2 minute version that never fails.

Ingredient List:

• 2 cloves of garlic
• Can of chopped tomatoes (peeled/diced is fine if that's what you have)
• Olive oil, preferably, but any oil will do
• 2 tbsp. tomato paste
• 1 tsp. of salt
• 1 tsp. of italian seasoning
• Black pepper to taste
• Red chili flakes (trust me, even if you don't like spicy food, use a pinch, it gives the sauce a nice round flavor when it thickens)

Instruction Manual:

Throw garlic and chopped tomatoes into the blender. Press blend.

Heat a little olive oil in a pan. Pour stuff in from the blender. Add two tablespoons of tomato paste. Throw in spices, the more dramatically the better (it helps to pretend you're a wizard making a witch's brew. Random shouts of "Eureka!" and "Abracadabra!" definitely improve the flavor.

Give it a good stir, and add half a cup of water. Turn the heat to low and let it simmer for about 20-30 minutes, or until it becomes nice and thick (that's what she said).

Use that 20-30 minutes to

1. Do the washing up (my husband would prefer that I chose this option).
2. Watch an episode of Parks and Recreation.
3. Write a blog post.
4. Dance around the kitchen.
5. Do something unmentionable with a consenting partner, or alone. If you choose this option, please remember to wash your hands afterwards.

And voila! This makes about 4 cups of sauce.

Now that's the stuff that moments like these are made of (I wanted to show the prison scene from Goodfellas, but youtube won't let me):