The Oncoming Hope

As Hurricane Sandy (known to some of you as FRANKENSTORM and to the more pedantic of you as THE METEOROLOGIST'S MONSTER) swaddles the Eastern seaboard with an extremely wet blanket, my thoughts turn to fictional New York weatherpocalypses past. These are their stories. DUN DUN.

1. The Day After Tomorrow

My greatest Frankenstorm pleasure (apart from a couple of extra "work-from-home" PJ days) derives from a lingering memory of a bunch of Oxbridge holier-than-thous snickering through a screening of The Day After Tomorrow at an environmental agency I once worked at.

"New York city shalt not be graced by a hurricanous monstrosity in any reality!" they exhaled, along with hearty fumes of red wine and superiority.

Now I'm not going to pretend that The Day After Tomorrow offers a portrait of anything approaching reality, but complaining about a lack of verisimilitude in a Roland Emmerich film is a bit like complaining that an orange tastes of citrus. What The Day After Tomorrow DOES give us, in order of priority, is a shirtless Jake Gyllenhaal (at a time when he still belonged to the indie kids), and amazing special effects shots of the New York Public Library drowned in a snow-pocalypse (Brangelina aint got NOTHIN' on weather-related portmanteaus...).

2. AI: Artificial Intelligence

Because it's never quite obvious that the weatherpocalypse has already happened long before the start of the movie, AI's controversial coda hits you in the face like a sickly sweet rhubarb pie. When I first saw the movie, I was the classic "love the movie, hate the ending" viewer, until I watched it a second time and suddenly got it.

Setting plays an important role here, implying that Kubrick's overall intent was something closer to Tree of Life than to his usual bleakness. It's the the crisis of human existence boiled down to its most fundamental battle: the creations of man vs. the creations of nature. And the beauty of AI is that it's impossible to figure out exactly who's winning between those dueling spawns, though humankind clearly lost. Poor David clings to the last vestige of what once defined humanity, until even that's lost.

3. Planet of the Apes

Planet of the Apes was a great obsession of mine as a kid (that includes all the offshoots, even the tv show, which inspired my first fanfiction, written as a lonely 10 year old in Jakarta, Indonesia). I haven't revisited the classic films since my tweens (I watched them so many times I can still see every scene in head), and as my mind developed, I came to realize that the films are microcosms of mankind's worst tendencies, especially the first film.

Planet of the Apes basically amounts to a wet dream for xenophobes, operating on the premise that as white men become the minority, the new colored overlords are barbaric murderers, concerned only with the downfall of the white men. (I'll take this opportunity to point out that the human women left in this particular white supremacist nightmare fantasy land LITERALLY HAVE NO VOICE).

But none of that dulls the impact of the incredible reveal at the end of the film, the only scene left from Rod Serling's original script for the movie. Taylor and Nova finally make it to the Forbidden Zone, only to find out that the "alien planet" he's landed on is, in fact, post-apocalyptic Earth. We don't know the exact circumstances that led to our Great Lady's semi-burial, but it's a decent guess that the climate had a fair bit of impact in the 700 years since Taylor and his fellow astronauts left Earth.

Conclusion

Weatherpocalypses fast and slow have long been a Hollywood obsession, so there are FAR more films that I haven't even touched upon. What are your favorites, whether New York or not?

I watched Hannah and her Sisters for the first time yesterday (a lovely coincidence, as it was the Woodster's birthday). I'll explain more in a proper review, but I think it may be my favorite Woody Allen movie yet. At any rate, the brilliant bookshop scene inspired this post. Read on for more on that scene and 4 others.

Hannah and her Sisters

Well, since Hannah and her Sisters inspired this post, it's only fair that it gets pride of place. Everything about this scene is perfect. Michael Caine's furtive following of his lady love takes us on a tour of the real New York, a lived-in place that seems completely alien from the idealized Manhattan of his previous films. It culminates with what is, in this reviewer's opinion, the sexiest come on in film history (and I'm sure all you book nerds will agree). Let us all bow to the majesty of e.e. cummings.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

There are so many great bookstore scenes in this film that it was almost impossible to pick just one. But this scene affirms the lovely chemistry between Joel and Clementine, while still providing subtle hints as to the nature of this reality and this memory. It's safe to say that Joel remembers her little speech as utterly charming, but I don't he'd have been so happy when it was originally delivered.

The Big Sleep

The Big Sleep doesn't skimp on the overt sexuality, but this scene is so literal that it crosses the line into hilarity. Dorothy Malone is sexy as anyone, and dare I say she looks better in glasses?

Watch THE BIG SLEEP Bookstore Scene in Entertainment |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Before Sunset

The opening scene of the brilliant follow-up to Before Sunrise is set at a book reading in Shakespeare & Co, a real-life bookstore in Paris (I highly recommend going there if you get the chance. It's ten times quirkier than it looks in the movie). In one of the most economical exposition scenes ever, we're introduced not only to what happened in the previous film, but what happened afterwards. The little flashes of young Celine set us up perfectly for the surprise appearance of her older self. I can only hope the recently announced threequel deals with the passing of time with such panache.

Before Sunset (Part 1) by fictionboy

Serendipity

I can't find a clip of the bookstore scene but just know that I love this movie like a stupid idiot. It's when they decide that their fate will be decided by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. For that reason, I forgive the coincidences and shall henceforth refer to this film as "magical realism."

Because I'm a child, you get a 6th scene for free, courtesy of the magic that is Short Circuit:

Righto! The usual rules apply. Tell me your favorites in the comments :)

Before emo went MTV, it referred to a very specific sound (one that bears no resemblance whatsoever to My Chemical Romance, for the record). For example, Bright Eyes was quintessential emo (but I think his emo stuff is absolutely awful, whether solo or with Desaparacidos. Stick to the indie-folk stuff).

While it was born of the punk movement (specific roots lie with Fugazi and Sunny Day Real Estate), it bears no resemblance to the "pop-punk" with which the term is now exchanged synonymously with. In fact, the movement was resolutely against makeup and style. We knew it was over when the sorority girls starting showing up at concerts with studded belts freshly purchased from Hot Topic.

In our day, it was about angsty white people who were heavily into literature and poetry and lost love, all the better for this brown girl who had the first two and had never experienced the last. For me though, the best emo was a little less angsty and more earnest.

When these artists grew up, they grew into straight pop. But for a brief, shining moment, they were ours, and ours alone.

I'm doing six this week because I need to include Sunny Day Real Estate, as the forefathers of the movement, though it wasn't strictly one of my favorites (it is awesome though.)

Special Guest: Diary by Sunny Day Real Estate

The genre wasn't always consigned to the underground. In fact, Diary by Sunny Day Real Estate was headed for the big leagues. SDRE performed the song all over late night television, and hitched a ride with Soul Coughing and eventually the Foo Fighters in support of the album. Then they had songs on two MASSIVE soundtracks: The Crow and Batman Forever. Sadly, the band suffered from internal turmoil, and never quite made it.

But in Diary, you hear everything that would come to define emo: literary references galore, high contrast between clean guitar and distortion, a powerful sense of melody, and dynamic range.

Clarity perfectly captures the other main characteristic of emo: the music tends to be so damned pretty. While Jimmy Eat World would go on to the greatest success of any "emo" acts (many say by selling out, but I think Bleed American is awesome), Clarity remains the album that emo boys would play to the girls they liked.

There wasn't a single guitarist I knew in college that couldn't play "For Me This is Heaven." Intricate dual-guitar parts? Check.

And as for the requisite literary references? "Goodbye Sky Harbor" borrows lyrics directly from the climactic scene of John Irving's Prayer for Owen Meany.

My personal favorite is "Just Watch the Fireworks", but I couldn't find a good live video for it, so you get this FANTASTIC performance of "For Me This is Heaven" instead. It's got Rachel Haden, who sang backup vocals in the recording, and was in many seminal acts of her own, such as That Dog and, more importantly, The Rentals.

Like many on this list, their first album was classic emo, and then they transformed into another genre entirely (in their case, 60s psychedelic rock. Very odd, but very awesome.) But Designing a Nervous Breakdown still holds a very special place in my heart, as I first heard it when I was struggling to learn guitar, and played many of the riffs over and over again.

And because we love our literary references, there are songs on this album titled: "The Heart is A Lonely Hunter," and "Hart Crane."

These guys were also headed for the big-time before they split, closing things out with an appearance on The O.C., if memory serves.

"All Things Ordinary" is a fucking kick-ass song, and the video is pretty damned fun. That is all. I particularly enjoy the "hoedown" skin in the video. Let me know your favorite.

Rainer Maria has the decency of putting their literary reference right there in their name. This doesn't stop them from naming songs "Breakfast of Champions," however. I was really stuck on which album to choose. Look Now Look Again is more traditionally emo, but Long Knives Drawn is a great example of how to take everything that's great about emo and make it a little less maudlin.

But this is an emo list, so I guess Look Now Look Again takes the cake. "Broken Radio" stands as one of the first five emo songs I ever heard (so when people claim there weren't females in emo, I always bristle, even though statistics-wise, it's probably true). The band became extremely polished, but "Broken Radio" makes full use of the rotten production values, and can't quite handle Caitlin de Marrais' shouting (but at 18, I certainly could, and LOVED it).

Guys, words cannot convey my long-standing and everlasting love for The Juliana Theory. I've seen them live about ten times, and if they hadn't broken up, I'd see them live many more times. They were the second concert I ever attended (the first being The Bangles), and the first time I saw them was within days of heading to college.

They did some serious genre-fucking in this album and in its follow-up, Love, which meant that even when a major label picked them up, they had no idea how to sell the band. Even in their earlier days, they were considered an emo band because no one knew how the hell else to characterize them.

From "Into the Dark" all the way to "You Always Say Goodnight, Goodnight," the band takes you on a journey from emo-pop all the way to metal, with bits of gospel in the middle (I know, right?). (The follow-up album went from rock to techno to soul, so this is not a band that's afraid of innovation).

I'd link a video to the 9 minute masterpiece rock finale, but I'm saving that for a future post. Instead, you get another old favorite: "Into the Dark."

I thought about cheating and including both Swiss Army Romance and Places You Have Come to Fear the Most. For all intents and purposes, all the songs are part of the same album, and choosing between the two is a fool's errand. In fact, Places has a couple of remakes of songs from Swiss Army Romance. But listening to them today, Swiss Army Romance is clearly superior.

I still remember the first time I listened to "The Best Deceptions." I was 16 years old, and on a trip to Paris with my family. Convinced by one of my "cool friends" to listen to this song and to Bleed American, I burned them on a cd. As we took the train to and fro Versailles, I listened to this cd over and over again, until I made peace with Chris Carrabba's voice (it's a bit of an acquired taste). And then the inevitable happened.

I fell in love with Chris Carrabba in a bad, bad way. When that MTV Unplugged aired in 2001, I recorded it and watched it until I wore out the tape. These two albums represented everything that life held in waiting, mistakes and deceptions and loves and lost loves and just a hell of a lot of poetry and guitar.

I may not listen to Dashboard Confessional anymore, but he's had an indelible effect on my guitar playing and my obsession with alternate tunings and dynamic shifts (Joni Mitchell also deserves credit for this). But once you get past the angst and melancholy, this record opened my eyes to the fact that acoustic guitar could be just as raucous as electric.

And can I give a shout-out to Jolie Lindholm, backup-vocalist? When you hear a female harmony, it's her. (She also had her own band, The Rocking Horse WInner, but it was more pop than emo.)

Here's "Sharp Hint of New Tears," a song that remains one of my favorites. Seriously guys, that is one guitar part, played solo.

I love when songs mention other songs, mainly because they seem to give us insight into the teen years of our favorite songs.

Necessarily, these songs tend toward the nostalgic. Let's face it, if you're throwing around references to other songs, you'd better be referring to something more than just the song, or you're just being a show-off.

Don McLean - American Pie

The many references in "American Pie" add to its specific brand of nostalgia. Of course the song mourns the deaths of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper, but it uses those tragedies as a frame for a more general longing for the past, for the joy of teenage years. And so McLean cites the hits of his own teen years, including "Book of Love," "Eight Miles High," "Jumpin' Jack Flash," and "That'll be the Day."

Big Star - Thirteen

"Won't you tell your dad, "Get off my back"?
Tell him what we said about "Paint it Black"."

One of the most sweetly wistful songs ever written, I don't think anyone can beat Alex Chilton's evocation of a first crush, when everything seems possible, and the most important fights we pick are with the parents of our loved ones over the music we love.

Okkervil River - Plus Ones

No one wants to hear about your 97th tear, so dry your eyes or let it go uncried, my dear. I am all out of love to mouth into your ear, and not above letting a love song disappear before it's written. And no one wants a tune about the 100th luftballoon that was seen shooting from the window of your room, to be a spot against the sky's colossal gloom and land, deflated, in some neighbor state that's strewn with 99 others.

If this list were a contest, this song would win, hands down. Will Sheff takes 6 famous "number songs" and adds +1 to all of them, telling us the tale of the 97th tear, the 100th luftballon, the 51st way to leave your lover, the 9th mile high, 8 chinese brothers, and many, many more.

The B-52's - Deadbeat Club

Going down to Allen's for
A twenty-five cent beer
And the jukebox playing real loud,
"Ninety-six tears"
We're wild girls walkin' down the street
Wild girls and boys going out for a big time

This is the second song on our list that references "96 Tears." Which is an absolutely terrible song, if you ask me, but hey. "Deadbeat Club" is one of my favorites songs of all time, a surprisingly sober number for the normally outré band.

Watch for the Michael Stipe cameo!

Jimmy Eat World - Praise Chorus

"Praise Chorus", from Bleed American, throws around a litany of song titles in the bridge, including "Crimson and Clover," Madness's "Our House," Bad Company's "Rock 'N Roll Fantasy," They Might be Giants' "Don't Let's Start," and Motley Crue's "Kickstart My Heart." It's far from my favorite JEW song, but when that bridge kicks in, its hard to deny the surge of happiness in your heart. Also, it's a very danceable tune.

Honorable Mention (I know I'm only allowed 5, but I gotta let this one in):

Def Leppard - Rocket

First of all, I'm still working hard to spread the gospel of the Leppard (and I suspect that I always will, and that's a topic for another blog post. In one phrase: one-handed drummer). Second, this song mentions some of of the very best of British pop: "Benny and the Jets," "Ziggy Stardust," "Jack Flash," "Jean Genie," "Killer Queen," and more. This is not my favorite Def Leppard song, but it does sound most like something that would come out of the synthesizer in Masters of the Universe.

Weigh in! What are your favorite songs that mention other songs?

After reflecting on the return of Burt Macklin on Parks and Recreation, my mind turned to other characters who invent alternate identities for whatever reason (usually silly reasons).

Here's the top 5, in no particular order:

Andy Dwyer as Burt Macklin, FBI

What's brilliant about Andy's alter-ego is that it's all-purpose. Whenever he has a position of any importance, out comes Burt Macklin. This is in spite of Burt's death in his last appearance.

"You thought I was dead? So did the President...'s enemies..."

Michael Scott as Prison Mike

"The Convict" as not one of the best episodes of The Office. The only episode written by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, the tone and overt race-baiting in the episode did not fit into the tone of the American show. Gervais and Merchant wrote Michael Scott far more cynically than the American team did, and let's face it, David Brent does not fit into this show.

But taken on its own, the creation of "Prison Mike" was pretty genius. Pam makes a throwaway comment that prison sounds better than working at Dunder-Mifflin, and Michael attempts a "Scared Straight," featuring himself as "Prison Mike."

Phil Dunphy as Clive Bixby, Electronics Salesman

Oh Clive. The world's lamest would-be playboy. The Dunphys attempt to spice up their sex life by adding a little bit of roleplay to the mix. As you can imagine, things go pear shaped very quickly, leading to discomfort that sends the most hard-hearted viewer cowering into the sofa cushions.

Tobias Funke as Mrs. Featherbottom

"Mrs. Featherbottom" was a peculiar cross between Mary Poppins and Mrs. Doubtfire, with a magical dash of Tobias.

Like the films it draws from, Tobias feels alienated from his family and adopts a disguise to insinuate himself with his daughter. However, this being Arrested Development, the family recognizes him at once and has no qualms about continuing to exploit his service.

Moss as a "Real Man"

While the IT Crowd frequently sends Roy and Moss into roles of traditional masculinity for the sake of humor, the best occasion remains the first. Nerd's nerd Maurice Moss develops an algorithm to talk to working-class football fans. Roy, impressed with Moss's newfound manliness, suggests they test out their new tricks down at the pub. Things spiral out of control, and we run through poker games and football games and bank robberies until Roy literally ends up crying.

It's Friday, folks! So another special edition of Friday Five. This week I get to revisit what probably remains my favorite show of all time: Angel. Narrowing my favorites down to five was hard, but I did it. There are at least 20 other episodes good enough to sit at the top, but these are my choices for now.

Here they are, in reverse order.

5. Rm W/a Vu

Why It's Awesome: Like many, I questioned why they brought Cordelia, of all people, over from Buffy. After this episode, I doubt anyone had any doubts. The premise is simple: Cordy finds her dream apartment, and it's haunted. Things get progressively out-of-hand from there, but lets just say there are loan-shark demons, spells and a phantom who resembles my high-school English teacher.

Favorite Quote:

"I'm no snivelling Cry-Buffy from Sunnydale." (this feels all the more appropriate as Buffy returns the following episode, and I swear she cries through that entire dumb episode)

4. To Shanshu In L.A.

Why It's Awesome: This one solidified what made the show precisely so wonderful: these guys are not just a family unit, but they're destined to be together. It's a horrible episode in many ways, probably the first where Wolfram and Hart try to screw Angel by messing with Cordy's visions, which are taking more and more out of her every time. But this episode also sets up all the storylines for the rest of show, the most important one being that Angel can one day be human again if he does enough good. Oh, and Darla.

Side note: I don't think Angel's ever looked hotter than he did in this episode...ahem.

3. Smile Time

Why It's Awesome: Words cannot describe it. When the ads first aired, I thought the show had jumped the shark (which would have been a neat trick as it was 6 episodes until the end :(). But no, it was awesome. It had the right blend of humor and seriousness, and this episode alone seems to have set the tone for the entire new Doctor Who series. And of course, Wes and Fred finally hook up. FINALLY.

Favorite Quote: "I do not have puppet cancer!"

2. Birthday

Why It's Awesome: This is your basic "It's A Wonderful Life" scenario, where Cordy gets to experience life as it would have been if she'd never bumped into Angel in L.A (in real life, she's about to die). But, as it turns out, you can take the girl out of reality but you can't take the hero out of the girl, and Cordy finds her way back to the gang. And also, in order to live, she becomes a demon with a whole new set of powers.

Favorite Quote:

Wesley: Angel, what are you doing on the floor?
Angel: I had this dream that Cordy was here. She was trying to umm... tell me something, something really important.
Cordy: Yes, and, and...
Angel: It's weird.
Cordy: How are *you* a champion? In what way are you a champion?

1. You're Welcome

Why It's Awesome: For one all-too-brief moment in Season 5, we got the return of Cordelia Chase. It's a key episode in many ways, as Cordy passes things on to Angel that we don't learn until the final episode. But we also find out the sad truth: had Cordelia not been body-jacked and put into a coma, she probably would have stopped Angel from taking over Wolfram and Hart, a decision that turns out to be tragic in all kinds of ways. But let's face it, we love it because it's Cordelia, and unlike so many in this show, she gets to die like a hero. And most importantly, Angel and Cordelia get to declare their love for each other before she dies. And it's sad but beautiful. I'm teary just thinking about it.

Minor Irritation, but not really: I don't know if it's just laziness or what, but Cordy can't seem to bring herself to button up her shirt all the way. She's a beautiful woman, but the cleavage is distracting. Also it is vast and all-encompassing...but I digress.

Favorite Quote:

"Let me get this straight. Spike's a hero, and you're CEO of hell-incorporated! What kind of bizarro world did I wake up in?"

What are your favorite episodes, guys? Any quibbles?

Thank god it's friday, eh? After spending the day on more serious things, I get to bring you a top five list in no particular order of no great importance. Today's topic? Songs that mention writers.

The rules are simple. The song must reference the author by name, it cannot allude to the author, or simply reference one of the authors' works (which unfortunately rules out a whole bunch of Led Zeppelin, Rush, and other prog-rock).

I tried to represent a number of different styles (this list could too easily have been all-folk).

Weigh in in the comments, of course.

Patti Smith - "Land"

I don't even pretend to know what this song is about, I just know it's great. It references Arthur Rimbaud, the great literary love of Smith's life:

"And I fill my nose with snow and go Rimbaud, go Rimbaud, go Rimbaud."

If you haven't read Just Kids yet, you really need to get on that. It's probably my favorite book of the past 2 years (and is now being made into an inevitably horrid feature film).

Here's a great live performance of the song:

Manic Street Preachers - "Faster"

This is just a fucking great song. It's an anthem for the nihilist, which I certainly loved in my youth (though I doubt I'd like it so much if I came across it today). I cannot possibly do it justice in words, so I'll quote you their own:

"I am stronger than Mensa, Miller and Mailer, I spat out Plath and Pinter".

Elsie Carlisle - "Pu-leeze Mr. Hemingway!"

The reference is right there in the title, but there are some very cheeky references within the song (this song was frequently banned in the 1930's):

"I love a brave man
With big he-man stuff,
But not a caveman,
So remember not to play too rough!"

Simon and Garfunkel - "A Simple Desultory Philippic"

I think every other Simon and Garfunkel song ever written has literary references, but I narrowed it down to "The Dangling Conversation" and "A Simple Desultory Philippic." For humor's sake, the latter won. Written to be a spoof of Bob Dylan, this song is pretty much the masterpiece of random author mentions, such as:

"I've been Ayn Randed, nearly branded Communist, 'cause I'm left-handed."

And my personal favorite lyric (actually this is one of my favorite lines from any song ever):

"He's so unhip, that when you say Dylan, he thinks you're talking about Dylan Thomas, whoever he was. The man ain't got no culture, but it's alright, ma, everybody must get stoned."

I couldn't find a live performance, sadly, but you can at least listen to the song here:

Tori Amos - "Tear In Your Hand" and her many Neil Gaiman mentions

Tori Amos' long friendship with Neil Gaiman has been noted in detail elsewhere, but for now I'm just gonna note the songs that mention him.

From "Horses," off Boys for Pele

"Will you find me if Neil made me a tree"

From "Space Dog," off Under the Pink

"Seems I keep getting the story twisted, so where's Neil when you need him?"

From "Carbon," off Scarlet's Walk

"Get me Neil on the line. No, I can't hold. Have him read 'Snow Glass Apples,' where nothing is what it seems."

There are a number of other references to Gaiman's work, but there's only one specific reference to him left, my favorite, the first, made before they even knew each other:

"If you need me, me and Neil'll be hangin' out with the Dream King. Neil says hi, by the way."

That's "Tear In Your Hand," off of Little Earthquakes.

Here's one of my favorite live performances of the song (at Glastonbury 1999, if I'm not mistaken?) (stay tuned for a super-hot guy singing along in the crowd):

Runners up include: "Hey, Jack Kerouac" by 10,000 Maniacs, and "Rave On, John Donne," by Van Morrison.