The Oncoming Hope

Well isn't racism fun! Especially from a taxpayer funded television network! These weren't mildly offensive, like Stephen Fry's statement about women. Frankly it makes the whole Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand thing look like well-mannered jousting.

But I'll let you judge for yourself. If you don't feel like watching the video (or can't at work), it's all transcribed below. Such a stellar display of wit and wordplay has seldom been seen.

The worst part? IT WAS SCRIPTED IN ADVANCE!! So you have to imagine - somebody wrote it and thought it was fine, an editor read it and thought it was fine, the BBC suits signed off on it, and then these idiots read it aloud. At least we can take solace in the fact that Clarkson might actually be fired for starting an actual diplomatic incident by being a complete c**t.

May: Have you ever wanted a Mexican sports car?
Clarkson: Yes, I have!
May: It’s good news, because there is one, and here it is [points to display] and it’s called the Tortilla.
Clarkson: It is not – it is not called the Tortilla! What is it?
May: I can’t remember, it’s something a bit …
Clarkson: So you just made up the name, then, there you go.
May: I’d forgotten, sorry
Hammond: Why would you want a Mexican car? ‘Cause cars reflect national characteristics. So German cars are sort of very well-built and efficient, and Italian cars, a bit flamboyant and quick. Mexican cars just gonna be lazy, feckless, flatulent, overweight, leaning against a fence asleep looking at a cactus with a blanket with a hole in the middle on as a coat.
May: It is interesting because, they can’t do food, the Mexicans, can they? ‘Cause it’s all like sick with cheese on it.
Hammond: Refried sick!
May: Yeah, refried sick.
Clarkson: How much is this Mexican sports car?
May: The refried Mexican sports car is 33 thousand pounds.
Clarkson: That isn’t enough. It isn’t enough because somebody’s paid for that to be developed and it’s gotta be shipped. That’s 800 quid to the car right there.
May: You say that, though, but they do say in their blurb it’s got rack-and-pinion steering.
Hammond: Wow, it’s got steering!
Hammond: I’m sorry, but just imagine waking up and remembering you’re Mexican.
Clarkson: It’d be brilliant! It’d be brilliant ’cause you could just go straight back to sleep again.
Hammond: ‘That’s all I’m gonna do all day.’
Clarkson: That’s why we’re not gonna get any complaints about this – ’cause the Mexican embassy, the ambassador’s gonna be sitting there with a remote control like this. [Clarkson slumps in his seat and starts "snoring."] They won’t complain. It’s fine!